Why dredge up a past filled with pain and share it with the world?
There are three reasons. First, while any number of memoirs tell powerful stories of abuse, many issues go unaddressed. How do family members handle it when one of the most loved relatives is unmasked as a perpetrator? What if you do not pursue charges against that person? How then do you handle it when you still see him? How do you treat someone you disdain when your brother is revealed as a perpetrator? How does sexual and emotional abuse affect your developing gayness? How are your perspectives about sex and trust in relationships changed?
The second reason is that telling my story benefits readers. It provides a language for men – straight and gay – who have been abused to tell their stories authentically. For people who were not abused, it gives them a window into a complex and challenging world.
A good story grabs a writer and demands to be told. Like a demon-possessed man, I won’t be free of this story till I tell it. I’ve triumphed over the abuse, but until I tell this story, the story won’t release me.
If this memoir, completed to my satisfaction, were the only thing I wrote, I would consider my life well lived, my purpose accomplished.
[...] The reasons I write my memoir are here. [...]